Evidence & Documentation Checklist

Structured guidance on documenting incidents safely and storing information discreetly.

Evidence & Documentation Checklist

Before You Start

These options focus on practical record-keeping. They are not legal advice. Local laws about recording, privacy, and consent can be different in each place.

Some people choose not to gather evidence because it feels unsafe or too risky in their situation. That is also an option.

What to Record

Consider what might help you remember details later or explain what has been happening if you choose to share with someone in the future.

• Incidents and patterns
  • Date and approximate time
  • Location (home, car, phone, online, public place)
  • Who was present (including children, neighbors, others)
  • What was said or done, in neutral, factual terms
  • Any threats or controlling behavior
  • Objects involved (phone, finances, keys, devices, documents)
  • How the incident ended (someone left, call ended, etc.)
• Digital communications
  • Text messages, messaging apps, DMs
  • Emails
  • Call logs (missed calls, repeated calls, blocked numbers)
  • Social media posts, comments, tags, or messages
• Financial and practical control
  • Bank statements showing concerning withdrawals, debt, or missing funds
  • Pay stubs or benefits statements that are withheld or accessed without permission
  • Bills in your name that you are blocked from paying or viewing
  • Records of being prevented from working or accessing money
• Property and damage
  • Lists or photos of damaged property (if safe)
  • Dates when locks, accounts, or passwords were changed without agreement
  • Records of items taken or destroyed
• Third-party records
  • Workplace reports or HR notes
  • School notes or reports (attendance issues, behavior changes reported)
  • Copies of prior police reports or incident numbers (if any)
  • Any written notices related to noise complaints or welfare checks
• Health and appointments
  • Dates of medical, counseling, or support visits (without sharing confidential notes)
  • Discharge summaries or visit confirmations that list injuries or concerns
  • Notes about sleep disruption, missed work, or ongoing stress effects
• Timeline summary
  • A simple chronological list of key incidents and changes
  • Important “firsts” (first threat, first time finances were blocked, first time devices were monitored)
  • Any escalation patterns or new behaviors over time

How to Store Evidence Safely

Choose options that fit your situation and your access to devices or storage. Safety includes both physical and digital privacy.

Physical Storage Options

• Paper notebook or log
  • Use neutral labels on the cover (e.g., “Notes” or “Budget”).
  • Record dates and short factual descriptions.
  • Store outside the home if possible (trusted person, locked drawer at work, a safe deposit box).
• Printed documents
  • Print copies of important documents when safe: bank statements, emails, screenshots.
  • Keep in a plain folder with a neutral label.
  • Consider splitting documents into more than one location (e.g., part with a trusted person, part elsewhere).
• Secure container
  • Use a lockbox or small safe if you control the key or code.
  • A sealed envelope stored with someone you trust is another option.

Digital Storage Options

• Email to a separate account
  • Create an email account that is not used on shared devices and does not use shared recovery phone numbers.
  • Email yourself copies of logs, screenshots, and documents.
  • Log out fully after use and avoid saving the password on any shared device.
• Cloud storage
  • Use a cloud service only you can access (no shared logins or family accounts).
  • Change privacy and security settings (two-factor authentication using a safe device or phone number).
  • Store files in neutrally named folders.
• External drives
  • Use a small USB drive or external drive that can be kept outside the home.
  • Consider encryption if you are comfortable with it and can remember the password securely.
  • Label the device with something neutral (for example, “photos” or “backup”).
• Secure note apps
  • Some apps allow password-protected notes or hidden folders.
  • Use a passcode that is not shared or easy to guess.
  • Avoid apps that automatically sync to shared accounts or devices.

How to Avoid Alerting Someone

Many people worry about someone noticing that evidence is being collected. These options focus on reducing that risk.

General Privacy Steps

• Use devices the other person does not control, if possible (work computer, library computer, friend’s device).
• Log out of accounts after each use and clear browsing history if safe to do so.
• Turn off or limit automatic syncing between devices when possible.
• Avoid saving files with obvious names like “abuse evidence” or “incident log.” Use neutral labels or codes you understand.
• Use a passcode or biometric lock on your phone if you control access.
• Be cautious using “hidden” or “secret” folders if the other person is highly tech-aware or checks devices regularly.

Phone and Messaging

• Use messaging apps with disappearing messages only if you are certain you do not need a long-term record of those specific messages.
• Consider a separate low-cost phone kept outside the home if that is possible and safe.
• Review notification previews on your lock screen and adjust settings if you are worried someone reads your notifications.
• Choose contacts in your phone who are labeled in a way that does not draw attention.

Computer and Online Accounts

• Use private browsing or incognito mode when researching sensitive topics.
• Check which devices are logged in to your accounts and sign out of ones you do not control, if safe.
• Use strong, unique passwords and consider a password manager only if the other person does not know how to access it.
• Avoid storing documents in obvious folders like “Desktop” or “Documents” on a shared computer.

Paper and Physical Items

• Keep written logs in a place the other person does not regularly search (trusted person’s home, work locker, safe location).
• Use shorthand or neutral notes if you are concerned about someone reading them.
• Avoid leaving mail, printed statements, or forms where they can be easily seen.

When NOT to Collect Evidence

There are situations where trying to record, photograph, or save information can increase risk. It is valid to decide that collecting evidence is not the right step for you right now.

Risk-Focused Considerations

• If the other person:
  • Regularly searches your phone, email, or bags
  • Monitors your online activity, location, or devices
  • Has access to your passwords or insists on knowing them
  • Becomes angry or suspicious when you write things down or use your phone
• If you feel that:
  • Any discovery of notes or screenshots would likely lead to more harm
  • You cannot safely store items anywhere they will not be found
  • Tech monitoring is likely or has already been mentioned or threatened

Legal and Privacy Limits

• Some areas restrict recording conversations, calls, or video without consent. If this applies where you live, hidden recordings might create legal problems.
• Workplaces and schools may have rules about recording on their property.
• Recording children or other people may have additional legal and ethical considerations.

Emotional and Practical Capacity

• If documenting events feels overwhelming or unmanageable.
• If keeping a log interferes with daily functioning, work, or rest.
• If a professional (legal, advocacy, or another trusted support) suggests pausing certain types of documentation for a specific reason.

Planning Next Steps

• Decide whether collecting evidence feels safe enough for you right now.
• Choose one or two low-risk methods to start with, if any.
• Review where each type of record will be stored and who can access it.
• Revisit your approach if your situation, technology, or risk level changes.

Recommended Articles

• Safety Planning Checklist
• Digital Safety and Tech Privacy
• Gathering Evidence: Practical Options
• Protecting Important Documents
• Preparing to Talk to a Lawyer