work
Should You Tell Your Workplace?
A simple decision guide for whether to disclose safety concerns to an employer or HR.
workplace safetydisclosure
WORK & FINANCES
Should You Tell Your Workplace?
When disclosure may help
Some people choose to share limited information at work to gain practical support or adjust their work conditions. The points below describe situations where disclosure may be useful to consider.
- When safety at work is affected:
- The person harming you knows your workplace or schedule.
- You receive calls, emails, or visits from them while working.
- They have threatened to come to your workplace.
- There is a history of unwanted contact at your job site.
- When your work schedule or duties are harder to manage:
- You are dealing with many appointments (medical, legal, housing, or support services).
- Sleep disruption, injuries, or stress are making shifts or deadlines harder.
- You need flexibility to handle childcare or school issues linked to the situation.
- When your role allows for adjustments:
- Your job has options for flexible hours or remote work.
- Your employer has policies for personal leave, safety planning, or workplace accommodations.
- There is a human resources (HR) department, union, or employee assistance program.
- When you trust specific people at work:
- There is a supervisor or HR staff member who has handled sensitive issues respectfully in the past.
- You feel they are likely to keep information as private as policy allows.
- You are comfortable asking them about documentation and confidentiality.
- When documentation may be useful:
- Incident reports, emails, or security logs might help show a pattern of harassment or contact.
- You want work records (schedule changes, safety plans, written warnings to the person harming you if they contact work) that could support future steps you might take.
Some workplaces already have written policies about relationship abuse, stalking, or harassment. If it feels safe, you can ask HR or check your employee handbook for these policies before sharing details.
When it may increase risk
In some situations, telling your workplace can create new problems or increase safety concerns. The points below may help you consider those risks.
- When the person harming you is connected to your workplace:
- They work in the same organization or at a related site.
- They are a manager, owner, or influential colleague.
- They are friends with your supervisor or HR staff.
- When there are concerns about privacy and gossip:
- Your workplace has a history of private information spreading informally.
- Supervisors share personal details about staff publicly.
- You work in a small team or community where information travels quickly.
- When there is a risk of negative employment impact:
- Past examples show people being penalized for personal issues.
- You work on short-term contracts or probation without strong job protections.
- Your role is highly competitive or easily replaced.
- When the person harming you monitors your work:
- They have access to your work email, schedule, or HR systems.
- They are allowed on-site as a vendor, contractor, or regular visitor.
- They already pressure you about what you tell coworkers.
- When documentation could be accessed or misused:
- You are unsure who can see HR notes or incident reports.
- You are worried written records could be used against you in other processes.
- You do not want formal files created at this time.
If you are unsure how your workplace handles sensitive information, you can start by asking general questions about confidentiality, leave options, and safety procedures without sharing personal details.
What minimal info to share
Disclosure does not have to include full details. You can choose a very limited, practical description focused on what you need from work.
- Decide your goal first:
- Safety measures (for example, not allowing certain visitors, screening calls).
- Scheduling changes (for example, temporary flexibility or shift swaps).
- Location changes (for example, moving desks, working from another site when possible).
- Communication boundaries (for example, using only work email, not personal phone).
- Choose a general description of the situation:
- “I am dealing with a safety issue at home.”
- “I am experiencing harassment from someone I know.”
- “I am involved in a difficult personal situation that sometimes affects my availability.”
- Limit specific details:
- Share only the person’s name if needed for security or visitor policies.
- Describe behavior in neutral terms (for example, “unwanted contact,” “threatening messages”) rather than full history.
- Avoid sharing information that could escalate risk if it reached the person harming you.
- Clarify privacy and documentation:
- Ask who will have access to any notes or reports.
- Ask whether information will be stored in your main personnel file or separately.
- State what you do and do not consent to being shared with others.
- Connect your request to work impact:
- Explain briefly how the issue may affect your schedule, phone calls, or visitors.
- Offer specific options that are manageable for your team.
- Keep the focus on practical steps the workplace can take.
Some people find it useful to write down what they plan to say, including what they prefer not to share, and bring that note to the conversation.
Additional tools and professional supports related to work, safety, and documentation may also be listed at DV.Support, which you can review if you want more structured guidance from external organizations.
Scripts for limited disclosure
The sample scripts below are designed to keep details minimal and focused on workplace impact. You can adjust the wording to fit your role and comfort level.
Script A: General personal safety issue
- “I want to let you know I am dealing with a personal safety situation outside of work. It is not work-related, but it may occasionally affect my schedule and availability.”
- “For now, I am asking for [brief request, for example: some flexibility for appointments over the next few weeks / support if I need to step away to take certain calls]. I will aim to give as much notice as I can.”
- “I would prefer to keep the specific details private. Is it possible to note this as a ‘personal safety matter’ in any records?”
Script B: Safety concern involving workplace contact
- “I am experiencing ongoing unwanted contact from someone I know personally. There is a possibility they may call or come to the workplace.”
- “For safety reasons, I would like to request that reception and security be informed not to share my schedule or location with this person and not to let them into staff areas without checking with me first.”
- “Their name is [name] and they may identify themselves as [relation, if needed for clarity]. I am sharing this only for safety and access control purposes.”
- “I would like to understand how this information will be stored and who will be able to see it.”
Script C: Requesting temporary schedule flexibility
- “I am currently managing a serious personal situation that involves multiple appointments and calls during business hours.”
- “For the next [timeframe], I am asking if we can explore temporary adjustments, such as [examples: starting slightly later, working remotely one day a week, or swapping certain shifts].”
- “I am committed to meeting my core responsibilities and can plan coverage or handover notes as needed.”
- “I would like to keep the reason recorded only as a ‘personal matter’ or ‘personal safety issue’ without more detail.”
Script D: Email to HR or a trusted contact
- “I am writing to request a confidential conversation about a personal safety issue that may affect my work schedule and safety at the workplace.”
- “At this stage, I prefer to share only limited information. My main goals are to: [list goals, for example: understand my options for flexible leave, discuss any workplace safety measures, and clarify how information will be kept private].”
- “Please let me know a suitable time to talk and whether anyone else would be present, so I can plan accordingly.”
Script E: Setting a boundary about details
- “I appreciate your willingness to discuss this. For my own privacy and safety, I am not comfortable sharing more specific details.”
- “The key information you need for work purposes is that I am dealing with a personal safety situation, and I may require [brief description of accommodation or safety measure].”
- “If more information becomes necessary for a particular process, I would like to revisit that then and talk about how it would be stored and who would see it.”